Our guest today is Liz Jobst, mommy to Henry in Oakland, CA.
I recently attended an event where I ran into some acquaintances that I had not seen in a while. multiple people came up to me to go over my second pregnancy. One woman even put her hand on my stomach and asked when I was due. The problem with their gestures is that I am 100% positive I am not pregnant. completely caught off guard by these inquires, the only action I could muster was, “I’m not pregnant; I just haven’t lost the first one yet.” I then moved to change the subject — to anything other than the gigantic whale that had appeared between us.
On a bad day, I look in the mirror and consider myself, a size 12/14, extremely fat. The truth is that I weigh about the same as before I was pregnant with my son. However, all of my weight is now concentrated in my middle. short skirts, bring them on; my legs look fine. I just have a stomach that is impossible to hide. would I like to lose 20 pounds? Absolutely. especially since I live in the incredibly fit Bay area where skinny everything are mommy norms.
I have actually heard other mommies wonder why I am too lazy (or insert other derogatory adjective here) to lose the weight. I guess considering that my kid is no longer an infant their empathy for “baby weight” has been replaced with judgment.
On a good day, I remember that this weight problem isn’t entirely within my control. The reason I was heavier before my pregnancy is that for years I have taken a medication that produces a side effect of weight gain. The hours I have spent obsessing over this and discussing options with my physicians both then and now are innumerable. The bottom line is that my weight seems to have plateaued; as long as it doesn’t keep going up, there is no reason to change my medication. but as long as I continue to take this medication it makes it a lot more tough for me to shed the extra pounds. This is not an excuse; it’s an explanation, though I shouldn’t really need one.
The truth is that my body works harder for me now that it has in my entire life. I have never been on a sports team or joined a gym; until I started my current course of medication in my late twenties I was naturally thin and I never needed (or wanted) to exercise. My daddy used to joke that I had “an aversion to sweat.” Now, as a stay-at-home mom, I frequently lift and carry my 30 pound 17 month old much to the dismay of my chiropractor (did I mention my family also has a history of back problems?). My kid and I take long walks with our pet dog daily, during which I push him in the stroller around our hilly neighborhood. We dance, run, and play together; he never stops moving and it is my job to keep up.
In case you were wondering, my spouse and my kid are not overweight. They are both tall guys. I cook a lot of of the family meals and I am very conscious of supplying healthy, mostly organic, food for us to eat. As a family, we do not deny ourselves sugar but we are careful to eat high calorie foods in moderation. Honestly, we’re eating better now that our kid is at the table than we did as a couple, because we want to model a healthy lifestyle for him.
Here is the thing, while I have officially retired the dress which made me look pregnant enough for you to comment, I would appreciate it if you asked about our family plans before assuming we had already started on number two. If you know that I’m not pregnant, then it would be terrific if you could celebrate my body with me instead of ridiculing it.
This body made an remarkable little boy. This body is working hard to stay healthy to enjoy that little kid grow up. and if staying healthy for me indicates carrying some extra weight while I dance, run, and play with my son, I’ll take that over the option to not participate any day of the week.
Thank you, Liz! read about Liz’s experiences with baby sign language and a baby play class on our Bay area parent guide, 510families.com.