create your own pleased traditions at the holidays | Photo by Josh Felise on Unsplash
Generally speaking, my extended family on my husband’s side (AKA in-laws) are a fantastic bunch of people that we don’t see nearly enough. because we live clear across the country, we’ve grown accustomed to our own way of doing things so getting together involves friction. Every time. Yes, I’m a big ‘ol control freak. and when I’m on their turf, I’m not the boss of anything. Usually, a few days into the visit, I’m shedding tears because I don’t get to make any decisions.
So grumpy.
In the ongoing quest to lower the bar and have happier holidays, I reached out to the professional pleased people for tips. As a personal goal, I’m wishing to get through a cross-country in-law visit without crying every day — or maybe not at all! — but there I go raising the bar again.
Gretchen Rubin, the best-selling author of The happiness Project, responded best away. We’re not BFF’s or anything, but she probably recognized this task as something she could clear out of her in-box in less than a minute.
Reflecting on my goal of less family drama at the holidays, Gretchen sent me these posts:
7 suggestions for getting along with your challenging relatives over the holidays: My favorite is #1 to spend a few minutes in advancement thinking about how I want to behave. I can do this! I think I can; I think I can.
9 suggestions for lifting yourself out of the holiday blues: When she writes, “’Tis the season to celebrate ”“ and also the season to feel overwhelmed, lonely, angry, irritated, and rushed,” I know she gets me. From this set of lessons, I resolve to pack my running shoes (among other deeper things like remembering the love).
10 suggestions for getting along with your mother-in-law: I might need to reread this one during the visit or copy down the essential points on a tiny piece of paper I keep in my pocket. Clearly, I ought to remember my own values, but allow for grandparent privilege. Yeah, totally.
So happy.
I also want to give a nod to Meagan Francis from the Happiest Mom (author of The Happiest Mom). She is the pleased mother of five children who prioritizes her own happiness and celebrates imperfection. If I can deal with a few much more great suggestions, she gives a couple:
4 helpful suggestions for mothers handling critics: Does everyone else around the room have an opinion about your parenting? I love these suggestions for shaking off the critics. I could have used this last year.
If I struggle or falter with my happiness during the chaotic travels of the coming week, I will remember that the relationship is always much more essential than being RIGHT. I will remember the great guidance she gives in pleased marriage guidance from a previously divorced mom. Anyway, I’ll try.
And I will roll with it. Tears or not.
Only a little bit crazy.
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